I’m sure you’ll be delighted to hear that it’s Tuesday evening and I’ve managed, so far, to avoid being arrested this week. The situation feels more surreal each day that goes by, almost like the clock is ticking but reality has been paused. On my Government sanctioned daily bike rides it seems like the world has ground to a halt, with the occasional dog walker and a few passing cars the only evidence of life continuing as normal. Things are looking gloomier by the day and it is very apparent that people are starting to feel down so I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that we will get through this and I’m always available for a chat if you’re looking for ways to pass the time. Unless you’re boring. 

Without trying to sound like one of those pompous arseholes I’ve spent most of my life slagging off, exercising daily is genuinely making me feel much better. Quite frankly it’s a relief to get out of the house to get some fresh air and it’s also giving me plenty of energy, not that I’ve got anything to use it for. I have set myself the goal of at least five bike rides a week and I think having something like that to work towards is really going to help me get through this lockdown. Hayley has decided now is the perfect time to do the garden so I’m also currently working on putting a shed up and laying a new patio. It’s quite boring but I suppose it’s something to do to use up all the energy I have and I’m sure it will look lovely once completed. Donna got Mum a hot tub for Christmas so I’ll be extremely pleased if we manage to get that up and running (I’ll make sure I don’t post about mine as much as Lana does, I’m not that much of a beg). 

I’ve been thinking about my father quite a bit over the past few days. We haven’t spoken for almost three months now and it rather perplexes me how someone can have such little regard for their own son that they won’t even wish them a happy twenty first birthday or check to see if they’re ok during a global health crisis. Emotionally it doesn’t bother me as I always explain it as such – you can’t miss what you’ve never had and, having never received anything more than indifference towards our relationship from Dave, I do not yearn for his involvement in my life. It remains utterly baffling to me, however, that someone could be so resigned to having nothing to do with their own son. I suppose it makes a lot more sense when you consider he and I are quite similar in some ways and, to put it politely, I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire, but that doesn’t make it any less upsetting that I’ve had to struggle through life without a father. I hope that one day he’ll realise what a huge mistake he’s been making and come crawling back, begging for my forgiveness, just so I can look him in the eye and tell him to fuck off. 

On the bright side, I’ve got Hayley Tomlinson as my Mother. What more could you possibly ask for. Stay safe.