Wednesday 26th August 2026, 09:10

I write to you whilst I’m sitting at my desk in the office. I don’t come into the office much, so it’s something of a novelty to actually be here. I share an office with a very nice woman, I would say she is perhaps early 60’s (she has delayed retirement to help the organisation with a big transition), and she always asks how I am and calls me chicken or darling or some other sweet name. 

I resigned recently, so I have very little work to do. Well, I could find work to do if I wanted to, but why would I? I have recently resigned, it is pointless, I shall just coast until it is time to go. One benefit of writing to you, therefore, is that it will make my colleague think I am doing some work as my fingers tap tap tap away. When I type, I only type using my two index fingers, which some people find strange. How do you type? 

I was 45 minutes late to work this morning because I went to the gym, but no one monitors my actual hours or even output, so I can come and go as I please, which is something I will definitely miss when I move to my new job. I made a coffee, checked LinkedIn, and then did about 10 minutes of work on a spreadsheet. I then went for a shit, spent about 15 minutes on the toilet, and since then I have been scrolling Substack. It’s quite insane how much I get paid for how little I actually do, and it will be a genuine shock to the system when I actually have to do work in my new job. 

I’m only actually in today because I’m going for a coffee with a colleague at 10am and then for lunch with another one at 12pm. I do not have any in-person meetings, I am here purely to socialise, all of the meetings I have will be via teams. I entered the workforce post-pandemic, so I have never known any different to the hybrid working environment, and most of the jobs I have had have been either majority home-based or fully remote. Obviously you cannot miss that which you never had, but I do sometimes wonder how different life was ten or twenty years ago, when you spent eight hours a day, every day in the same building as your colleagues, as opposed to the same building as your Mother, which is what I currently do (we’ve made the spare room into a home office). 

Leaving my Mother will be the biggest change when I move away. Apart from University, I have lived at home my entire life, and even during University I was home very regularly, since I fucking hated it and was severely depressed the entire time. Since January 2022, when I got my first remote role, I have worked from home in some form or other, as has my Mother, meaning we have essentially been work colleagues for nearly 5 years now too, as well as family. It is the little things that I will notice the most, I think – making each other a cup of tea, sharing a joke, nattering about something in the news, watching television together on our breaks, popping to the shops when work is quiet, her telling me to be quiet when we’re both on a call (I am very loud), and so on. When I actually sit and think about it, it is quite remarkable but also terrifying how important that woman is to me, and how much I adore her. 

The colleague I am meeting at 10am has just asked if we can meet sooner as she is bored and her manager is annoying her. One thing that has amazed me about working here is how little everyone seems to actually do. It makes the productivity crisis make perfect sense. Some of my colleagues seem to have turned avoiding responsibility and procrastinating into an art form. Anyway, time to go for a coffee. 

Wednesday 26th August 2026, 10:55

Coffee with my colleague was nice. She is a lovely woman and I will miss chatting to her via teams when I leave (by chatting I mean I will miss us slagging off everyone else we work with via teams). 

I started The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson as an audiobook earlier today whilst I was running on the treadmill in the gym. The first chapter was predictably predictable and banal, as I am sure the rest of the book will also be, but I like reading self-help books sometimes because it reminds me of the basics and doesn’t challenge my brain too much. I mean, it’s not rocket science is it – if you give less of a fuck about meaningless things, you’ll likely be happier and have less anxiety. Revolutionary. I will probably inevitably rate the book 3 stars and never think of it again, but nonetheless, it’s just the right amount of engagement to keep me occupied whilst I’m working out or lying around doing nothing. 

I think it is important to lie around and do nothing, and I think it’s sad that people don’t seem to do it much anymore. Every second has to be filled with some sort of content, be it TikToks, Podcasts, TV shows, YouTube videos, social media feeds or whatever else might pollute our brains. Do people not realise what they lose if they do not give their brains time to rest, time to wander, time to be bored, time to recuperate and refresh? How are you possibly supposed to have any new and interesting ideas if you, quite literally, never have time to think? I often find my Mum watching videos of people jetwashing driveways or reversing caravans, and I think to myself, how much of yourself have you given away for that 20 seconds of stimulation. I hope that one day soon people realise how toxic and poisonous their phones are and resolve to avoid them at all costs – I try to do this myself, and although I often fail (I think I might be addicted to playing Chess on my iPad), I feel better knowing that I am at least trying to stop the rot. 

I think I might get some more tattoos when I move to London, probably another one from Call Me By Your Name, which remains my favourite film of all time. I don’t think there will ever be any piece of art produced ever again that is as beautiful as a twinky Timothée Chalamet discovering himself during a summer in rural 1980’s Italy. I like the plot of the film, although I know many people don’t, but even if you don’t, you cannot deny the aesthetic of the film is so mind boggligny stunning that you could watch it without volume and still fall in love with it. 

I have decided I am going to try and reduce my usage of AI. I would never even consider using it to write something like this, but I do use it for stuff like searches and emails, but I think even that is slowing melting my brain and reducing my capacity for critical thinking. The willingness with which people seem to be outsourcing their entire thought process to AI genuinely terrifies me, and whilst I have no doubt that some will consider me a luddite, I have come to believe that I must do all I can to hold the line. I actually think, in the long run, that those who resist AI will end up better off, in both a personal and a professional capacity, for once most people have outsourced their thinking to a computer and they all sound exactly the same, it will be humanity and individuality that people look for in their friends and employees, not an ability to write good prompts and wank off an LLM. I will therefore continue in my quest to resist Sam Altman, who, by the way, is clearly a complete piece of shit. I would call him a psychopath, but I think that gives him an excuse for his actions, which he frankly doesn’t deserve. 

I spend far too much time scrolling LinkedIn, which I really must endeavour to stop. Hopefully my new job will keep me busy enough that I don’t have the time for it. Also, I find it utterly insulting when people spell my name Harrold – it literally says my name, spelt correctly (Harold), in my email signature. If you don’t have time to read it, you are either rude or lazy, or both. I don’t think I’ll ever write a book, for I don’t think I have the imagination to write fiction or the knowledge to write non-fiction, and I probably have the desire for neither. I don’t think I know how to write poetry or beautiful prose, I just know how to write what is inside my mind, which I guess could be considered beautiful in its own way, by someone who loved me perhaps, if there is any such being out there. Hello Mum? 

The artificial light in this office is giving me a headache and my breath smells of coffee (I have eaten just a protein bar so far today). I wonder, if you were to add it up, how many hours we spend, collectively as a society, trying to look busy each day? How much thought we put into trying to seem important and powerful, and perhaps most of all, irreplaceable? I wonder how much happier we’d all be if we could spend that time living instead. My legs ache from running this morning and I think I might have chicken goujons for lunch, although I am also going for dinner this evening too, so is that too greedy? Saying I am going for dinner makes it sound far classier than saying I am going to Bella Italia with my friend Kiera. I fucking hate the fact that Bella Italia is one of the nicest places to go to around here. I cannot wait to move to London. 

Oh dear, I’ve just had a very angry email saying the Programme Board meeting is being “stood down” because the relevant actions haven’t been added to the dashboard by project executives (of which I, reluctantly, am one), despite that action being an action since April. Imagine not only writing that sentence out, but actually caring about it. How arrogant and deluded do you have to be to think it makes even the remotest of differences whether the actions are on the dashboard? Whose life is that going to improve? Where will the benefit of that be felt? Get a fucking life, darling. I’m not the only one to receive this email, by the way, there are quite a few senior people cc’d into this bollocking. I just cannot fathom ever caring about something that is so boring and meaningless. 

On that note, it’s time to go for lunch. 

Wednesday 26th August 2026, 13:30

I’ve just finished my last meeting for the day. I chaired it and it was scheduled 13:00-15:00, but it only took half an hour because, unlike most of my colleagues, I don’t spend 60% of every meeting talking about the weather or the roadworks (although the latest roadworks are blocking the entire roundabout and are very fucking annoying). 

Lunch was nice. I had a bacon, brie and cranberry panini with some ready salted crisps, which was rather tasty. My colleague and I basically just spent an hour slagging off the senior leadership team, which was extremely enjoyable. It is actually quite reassuring and rewarding to know that I am not the only one who thinks this organisation hasn’t progressed since the 1980’s – nothing infuriates me more than when the reason for doing something is because “that’s how it’s always been done”, which it seems to be for absolutely everything in this place, as if that is in any way desirable or rational. 

I am free to go home whenever I like now, although I shouldn’t really, as I get literally nothing done at home now I know I’m leaving in a few weeks. Saying that, I am sitting in the office writing a blog and browsing Substack, so clearly my location has zero impact on my motivation to actually do my job. I’ve been at this organisation for just over 18 months and I think, in the entire time that I have been here, I have done one full day in the office. I usually come in an hour or so late, because I’ve been to the gym, and then leave two or three hours early, to avoid rush hour traffic. I ping a few emails off at 7pm so my boss thinks I’ve been working late to make up the time and everything is hunky dory. 

Recruiters are so fucking awful. They don’t even bother with the bullshit “I hope you are well” in their emails anymore, they just go straight into the job description. Are you under such pressure that you can’t find time for pleasantries? I think it is a disgrace, I would at least expect pleasantries before I politely tell you to fuck off. The recruiter that got me my new job has honestly done fuck all for it, once I’d signed the right to represent he essentially fucked off and left me to deal with the Partner myself, which is an absolute joke, especially considering he’s likely to make thousands from his finders fee. I think the world would be a happier, less stressful place if the entire recruitment agency was disbanded and they were all sent to live in insane asylums, where they so clearly belong. 

I love it when people email things like “can I have an URGENT update on this please”. Oh babes, is your house going to fall down? Are you going to collapse and be taken to hospital? Oh.. no? It’s just that a supplier is chasing payment? I see, well I already sent the documents to finance two weeks ago, so why don’t you fuck off and ask them for your urgent update, sweetie? 

I’ll probably go once my phone gets to 100% charge. I barely use it these days, so I only have to charge it once every two or three days. I find it so peaceful not being glued to it like I once was – my screen time rarely nudges above 2hrs, and most of that is either WhatsApp or The Times. I honestly find it hard to imagine what my life was like when it regularly exceeded 6hrs a day – how on earth did I find the time to do anything if I was spending that much time on my phone? I still feel insanely busy now and I’m barely on it. Like I say, soon we will realise what a cancer these screens are and hopefully rid ourselves of them. 

Sometimes I find it difficult to decide whether I should listen to Spotify in the car or the radio. If I choose the radio I stick to the BBC, as I am a genuine believer in the institution and believe it should be protected at all costs. Like all big organisations, it has its weaknesses and crises, but on the whole I think it is a force for good (I also think it should be funded from general taxation with a royal charter set for 50 years to free it from political interference, but I can imagine that position being about as popular as chlamydia or Huw Edwards). If I do listen to the radio, it is usually Radio 3, as I am really enjoying classical music at the minute, as well as jazz. Have you come across house jazz? It popped up on my YouTube and I absolutely love it – would highly recommend you give it a listen if you haven’t already. 

I realised earlier that my boxer shorts have a hole in, which I can only assume means that my farts are now so powerful that they can tear straight through cotton. There are many toilets in this building, but I have a select few that I like to use when I need a poo, and I can only use them if there is no one else in there. Is that normal? Do most people have a favourite toilet to use in the office? Anyway, comms have just sent out an email reminding people not to prop fire doors open and not to smoke or vape on the premises, which I think tells you everything you need to know about our office. 

I just read Me & My Desk: James Marriott. James is basically my idol, and I enjoy pretty much all of the content he puts out. I am super excited about his book, which comes out next week (I’ve had it pre-ordered since he first announced it). I think I’ll take it with me to read when I go on holiday to Turkey on 14th September. I am planning to take Richard Osman’s new book too, which comes out on the 10th, and I am also considering buying Sir Anthony Seldon’s new biography of Rishi Sunak, which is released tomorrow apparently. I disagreed with Sunak on a lot of things but I get the sense he is fundamentally a good person, unlike a lot of our current politicians, and he also seems like quite an interesting man, although I imagine this is largely because he shunned the spotlight, and thus remained somewhat unknowable to the general public, the precise opposite of his predecessor (ignoring the blip that was Liz Truss). I think those three books put together would make rather good holiday reading. 

Right, this is 3000 words already, so I’m going to give up and go home (it is now 14:15, so I’ve already stayed 15 minutes longer than I usually do). I hope we get the opportunity to catch up properly soon.