Horse racing is back and life is good. I specifically didn’t plan anything for Monday so I could spend the entire day glued to the television and I’m so glad I did. There are a multitude of reasons as to why I think horse racing is the perfect sport for me. First of all, the average horse race (on flat) is between 70 and 120 seconds, which is splendid for my terrifyingly short attention span. Secondly, I have an addictive personality which is complimented perfectly by the gambling. Finally, although I’m obviously not sure when I’ll next have the opportunity to do so, getting suited ‘n’ booted for a day at the ponies is, quite simply, an enormous amount of fun. It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone because that would be a terrible thing to think, it’s just that horse racing is the sport of Kings and to be honest I no longer wish to stoop to the levels some of you stoop to every weekend when you go to watch the football – I much prefer to watch two coke heads fight it out in the premier bar at a lovely racecourse in the countryside than in a dodgy away end in some shit hole stadium in London. Anyway, I ended up picking one winner out of ten races and losing about £20 overall, so I’ve managed to pick up pretty much exactly where I left off.
Tuesday morning was quite emotional. The official certified deed poll came through for my name change, meaning I am now legally Harold Talbot-Tomlinson. I must admit I had a little cry on Hayley’s shoulder when I opened the letter. I know I don’t have to explain myself, but I’d like to anyway. As dreadful as my relationship with my Father was, this change was not an attempt by me to distance myself from him, rather it was more to try and emphasise my Mum’s role (her maiden name is Talbot) and signify a new chapter of my life where she is more involved than ever and Dave isn’t involved at all. I did consider dropping the Tomlinson altogether but I decided that it’s my name as much as his and his actions should not deprive me of that. I’ve also dropped David & Patrick as my middle names so I now have none – I dropped David for obvious reasons and Patrick because I have no real connection to the name. The Harold bit is just because I’m a pretentious twat. I realise it may seem a bit unnecessary to some but this is a big change for me and I’m really happy about it.
Wednesday was very, very messy. I was supposed to have the group round for a barbecue but the miserable weather we’ve been having buggered that plan, so they came round for a few drinks in the evening instead. Almost inevitably, a few drinks turned into several and everyone got quite drunk – I ended the night passed out on my bathroom floor and my poor Mother was left to deal with my inebriated friends. According to Lewis, I disappeared for a bit, came back downstairs in my fur coat, wandered around the garden and then returned inside, never to be seen again. I’m assuming it was lovely to see everyone and we had a good catch up but, to be honest with you, I can’t be entirely sure. I vaguely remember Sian filming some TikToks and Sam being really annoying, but I’m not certain as both of those things happen literally all of the time. It was really nice to finally get pissed with my friends once more and I’m looking forward to doing so again and again over the next few weeks, just maybe not quite to such an extent.
It’s safe to say I was not in a good way on Thursday. I was meant to be going on a walk with my good friend GV but the weather scuppered that plan as well so we just sat in my garden for a few hours talking shit, which was probably a blessing in disguise as I’m not sure I’d have been able to handle a walk. It’s rather weird because some aspects of life feel like they’re pretty much back to normal, but then I remembered that it’s now illegal for him to step foot in my house and I was immediately reminded of how strange the current situation is. It was nice to catch up with him regardless – even though we talk pretty much everyday on Snapchat or Twitter, it is no replacement for chewing the fat in person. I did manage to get out for a walk on Friday with Robyn and it was nice to see her, what with her being on placement in Spain for the last two years and then coming home to go into lockdown it’s sometimes been difficult to stay in touch. I’m hoping to slowly get through my frankly hideously long list of friends over the next few weeks and have a proper catch up with them all, albeit in groups of six or less.
With the weather continuing to depress me, I’ve spent the weekend inside. It’s been a welcome relief to have the horse racing back and I’ve had a decent couple winners over the past few days. I’ve been doing a lot of reading & writing as usual, as well as playing on my PS4, but there is really nothing much I can add – it has been a completely dull and mundane weekend. I admire those who have been out protesting for BLM. As I wrote earlier in the week, I haven’t said much about it because it’s not my voice that needs to be heard, but I wholeheartedly support those who have spent their weekend fighting for a better life for BAME people in this country. The campaign to disregard these protests based on the actions of a few troublemakers is already well underway and I’ve seen plenty of posts on Facebook in that respect, such as “I’m all for BLM but how dare they destroy a statue of a 17th century slave owner!!!!”. One thing I would like to say is, whether you support actions such as these or not, please remember that the vast majority of protesters are normal, peaceful people just like you and I who are using their voice to support a better, more equal society. I implore you to do some research and educate yourself on the plight people of colour in this country, and across much of the western world, continue to face.
Black Lives Matter. Stay safe.
