I have decided that, once I have submitted my dissertation on Tuesday, I shall dedicate this summer to reading & enlightenment. Much of what I’ve read in the past has been overwhelmingly focused on politics and, after a discussion with a good friend of mine who is an avid reader, I have realised there is a distinct lack of breadth to my knowledge. As I become more engrossed in philosophical deliberations I have realised how important it is to have an understanding of the classics that remain the fundamental building blocks of our modern discourse. I think it’s also important to read books where you might not share the same opinions or interests as the author, as it’s essential to try and understand where others are coming from & learn from them, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them and the only thing you learn is how wrong they are. To that end, I’ve set myself the goal of reading at least ten books over summer and I shall be keeping you updated with my progress. I’m currently reading ‘The Art of the Possible’ by Lord Butler, who served in many senior cabinet positions throughout the mid 20th century, and it’s rather interesting so far, although lacking in depth slightly. I’ll let you know my final verdict when I’ve finished it. 

The feedback I have received from Oliver’s piece has certainly been interesting and if you haven’t read it I recommend you do. Some have said how nice it was to read as you could tell it was heartfelt and genuine, whilst others have accused him of brown nosing in an attempt to win back favour (to paraphrase some of the more vicious criticism). Personally, I thought the piece was a nice attempt to sum up the intricacies of friendship with a man as high maintenance and complicated as myself whilst also being quite honest and brutal. I’m not sure I’d go as far as to say I’m ‘morally bankrupt’ but I accept I can say and do things that aren’t what most people would consider acceptable behaviour. I am also willing to accept that my friendship turnover is probably higher than I’d like it to be and that I can be quite intense, but I’m very content with who I am as a person now and I’m happy to take that criticism on the chin. I’m not for everyone and that’s fine, but I’ve realised who I am for and I like to think that I’m surrounded by people I share a meaningful connection with. I’m sure hell will be freezing over as I accept this criticism in an open public domain but such is the extent to which I’ve grown as a person, however shocking that may be to many people, myself included, that I have no problem in doing so. Who would ever have thought we’d see the day.

I’ve started smoking a bit more than I should be. A ‘nice fag once I’ve finished work on my diss for the day’ seems to have turned into ‘several cigarettes throughout the afternoon as I sit in the garden reading and writing’. Oh well, we can’t all be perfect. The weather has been stunning so far this week so I’ve been trying to get my dissertation work done in the morning/early afternoon in order to spend the rest of the day in the garden absorbing knowledge and UV rays simultaneously. For some reason, the addition of a cigarette to this situation seems to add something inexplicably calming to it (I suppose the scientific explanation would be the nicotine but that’s not quite what I mean). I was discussing with a friend earlier just how lucky we’ve been with the weather over the past few months and it’s hard to imagine how miserable things would have been if, not only were we stuck inside because of COVID-19, we were also trapped by rain or coldness, as is usually the case in this glorious country. It’s looking for the silver linings in these cloudy times that keeps us all ticking over I suppose. 

Another glimmer of hope I’ve been clinging on to is the potential restoration of horse racing behind closed doors in the next few weeks. I often get ridiculed for my interest in a sport that is traditionally the reserve of gambling addicts and old men but I cannot deny the excitement I get from watching the ponies, even if it will be on a television screen for the foreseeable future. Obviously having a little gamble enhances the fun somewhat but the part I find most enjoyable is the challenge of studying the form and attempting to pick a winner, a task that can become almost forensic in its detail if you really put the effort in. As a homosexual I am obviously unable to enjoy the manly world of football so horse racing is a more than adequate substitute (I think there might be a pun there?) and I await with eagerness its return, whenever it eventually comes – the British Horseracing Authority are hopeful it could be June 1st but I’m sure that seems too optimistic. Nevertheless, it isn’t a crime to hold out a little bit of hope. 

“Live with the assumption that every day it will rain. If it does, you were right. If it doesn’t, you were fortunate.” – Zack W. Van. Stay safe.