I woke up this morning feeling fantastic; I’ve been getting nine hours of sleep every night, cycling everyday, eating well and keeping myself busy. This is obviously a great improvement from my normal state on a Saturday morning as right about now I’d usually be trying to remember what me and Sam had been arguing about the night before (it tends to be his fault). Hangovers are utterly disgusting but more often than not they’re the sign of a good night and, although I’d never miss the hangover, I am starting to miss the nights out. There’s just something incomparably enjoyable about sitting in the pub on a Friday evening, slightly tipsy, discussing whether or not we should make the dreaded trip to Revs De Cuba. I’m not someone who lives for the weekend but it’s undeniable that it’s hard to top the delightful experience of a kebab house at 3am when you’re pissed out your twat and talking utter shit to all your friends. 

After a lot of pressure from a certain member of the groupchat (I don’t like to reveal names but it’s a ginger woman with big tits) I’ve finally downloaded the house party app. To be fair to the anonymous ginger female it does appear to be quite fun and seems like a great way for people to stay in touch during this crisis. I’ve avoided drinking since the lockdown began as I tend not to drink outside of social situations but I have little doubt I’ll end up playing some form of drinking game on this bloody app and, to be honest, it will more than likely be a welcome distraction. I suppose it’s as close as we’re going to get to the real thing in these circumstances and if we can somehow persuade Tom Brooks to get involved it will definitely be worth it. 

Earlier this week a friend and I took the decision to no longer speak or see each other. Back in the good old days I was pretty well renowned for regularly falling out with friends, often to the point where it became comical – throughout Sixth Form I think Sam and I must have fallen out at least once a week (shocking I know). However, I like to think I’ve matured since then and I certainly don’t fall out with people as often as I used to, although I will still distance myself from individuals if I feel they’re no longer having a positive impact on my life. I appreciate from the outside it can seem rather cold, petty and possibly even unnecessary, but I believe it’s important to look after yourself first & foremost and, to that end, if someone you’re friends with begins to drag you down I see no reason at all why you should continue to associate with them. Over the past few years I have grown up a huge amount and I continue to grow as a person, learning new things about myself and the kind of man I want to be. This inevitably means that I will grow apart from certain people and it is quite upsetting, but I honestly think it’s entirely possible to appreciate what someone has done for you and revere the memories you have with them whilst also accepting that your friendship is no longer beneficial to either party. If, after reading this, you decide you’ve outgrown me, please get in touch with my lawyers to discuss a potential separation agreement. 

Time to down a bottle of wine and get my tits out on Houseparty. Stay safe.