Have you listened to Elliot James Reay? Jesus Christ, talk about a heartthrob. As his music plays through my headphones and my train pulls out of Euston, the feeling I’m experiencing could perhaps be described as a nostalgia for a life I haven’t yet lived, which seems to fit perfectly with the vibe of his music. As I wandered the streets of the big smoke tonight with a dear friend of mine, I not only wondered how different life could have been if things had gone better for me during my adolescence, but also how different it could be now I’m alive to the opportunities it can offer me. 

More specifically, the allure of the capital city seems to grow stronger every time I visit, the opportunity to reinvent myself and build a new life ever more appealing as I continue to learn more about myself. Walk down Oxford Street, for example, and everywhere you look, a moment is happening – friends sharing laughs, couples sharing kisses, families sharing smiles – and I wonder what moments could happen to me if I lived in a place like London. 

What is it, though, that really makes me yearn for it? Is it boredom with my current situation? Is it impatience with having to wait to properly build my new life at home? Is it jealousy from looking at friends who have made the move and how much happier they seem to be? Is it an underlying feeling that I’ve never quite been who I really want to be, that I’ve never really achieved what I know I’m capable of, that I’ve never really found someone who really gets me, and London is the place that could make all of those things a reality? Is it the bright lights, the nice food, the great fashion, the bustling atmosphere, the anonymity, the millions of people and the endless possibilities? Or is it, ultimately, the restlessness of a mind that is never satisfied, always yearns for more, and is becoming more confident and unapologetic in its efforts to get what it wants? 

London – what is it about you?