It’s a slightly overcast evening in the bosom of South Derbyshire, and I’ve just awoken from a nap. I don’t usually allow myself naps, as I find they make it more difficult to drift into slumber upon the end of the day, but I felt so exhausted earlier that I relented and, in all fairness, I do feel re-energised now. There is very little chance I would have had the energy to write this before my nap, for example, although perhaps there’s a question to be asked as to whether that was actually a good thing. 

I’ll walk you through my schedule so you can get a feel as to why I’m so debilitated. This morning, I played a wonderful round of golf with my good friend Charlie Beard. After playing my best round of the year so far last Sunday, I decided to give it a shot (pun not intended) and enter a competition for the first time ever. Naturally, I played my worst round of golf so far this year, playing so badly that I didn’t even bother to add up my points, since I knew they’d be so low as to be meaningless. Nonetheless, I made a few pars and bogeys, so I know the skill is there, I think it’s just a mindset issue now, which is an area where I know I have developed the skills to improve, and regardless of my score, it was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining and I had a nice time with my friend. What more can you ask for? 

After golf I grabbed myself a Skinny Latte from Costa (yes, I am a skinny queen, hold the applause), before heading home for a bite of lunch. I watched an episode of Richard Osman’s House of Games whilst I ate (the show has become my latest obsession, evidenced by my having managed to watch around 35 episodes in the last fortnight), before I read a bit more of The Woman In Me, the autobiography of Britney Spears (I’m just over halfway through, and one cannot help but feel sorry for her). After that I headed to the dog park with Forest and Ellie for a while, letting them tire each other out whilst I finished another book, Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I then dropped the dogs back at home before heading to the gym, although I will admit I only managed half of a workout due to my sheer tiredness, but as my new attitude reminds me, at least I tried. Once back at home, I spent five minutes in my plunge pool (it’s horrifying at first, but I absolutely would recommend trying one) before cooking myself a single burger for dinner, and having some sultanas for dessert (random, I know, but I fucking love sultanas at the moment). 

So, although it doesn’t really seem like a lot, I was utterly shattered, hence the nap. I’m hoping it comes across naturally in the way I have written but, to make it obvious, the whole point of my current process is to try and be a bit kinder to myself, which sounds rather cringey but is actually making me feel an awful lot better about things. The progress I have made has been so significant and fundamental that it’s often easy for me to overlook it, but there are so many things I have put in place which enable me to have such a nice day and genuinely really enjoy it; I’ve gotten into a regular sleep routine, I’ve more than halved the time I spend on my phone, I’ve incorporated more exercise into my daily life, I’ve started focusing on eating healthily instead of just trying to eat less, I’m drinking more water, I’ve started meditating and practising mindfulness, I regularly listen to self-development podcasts that advise on personal growth, I try to focus on living in the moment and enjoying whatever it is that I am doing, and so on and so forth. 

Apologies, you’re probably bored of hearing this kind of thing from me now, but it makes me feel good when I remind myself how far I have come. It’s also nice to take a step back and acknowledge that my life, and the way I choose to live it, is changing quite rapidly. Change was once a dirty word that I would refuse to countenance, but the difference now is that the changes I’ve made so far, and the changes I am making in how I live my life, are actively engineered by myself, and not only am I comfortable with them, I am revelling in the experience. Gone of the days where my entire week, and pretty much my entire existence, revolved around getting pissed up at the weekend – don’t get me wrong, I still love a good piss up, but nowadays it’s just once part of my itinerary, one option to consider amongst many others, as opposed to feeling almost necessary to try and escape reality for a bit. Turns out, there’s no need to escape reality if you build one you actually enjoy experiencing. 

I hope you’re having a lovely weekend. H x