Life is beautifully tragic. I can’t remember where I was or what I was doing but a few days back this thought suddenly occurred to me and I smiled to myself. I think it might have been as I was walking back to my car after finishing in the gym early in the morning, the golf course looking crisp as the frost began to thaw and the birds chirping in the background. I often have deep, ostentatious thoughts at that time of day. Let me explain my fleeting reflection on life. I am an extremely happy man at the moment; I earn decent money for doing a relatively easy job, I’ve just bought the car I’ve wanted for years, I exercise daily and feel healthier than I have in a long time, I’ve already got plenty of plans with my friends lined up for 2022 with more in the pipeline and, quite unbelievably, I’m actually starting to look forward to the future and feel excited about what life has in store for me. Now the tragedy; I’m still overweight, I’m balding at the tender age of twenty two, my debt prevents me from doing a lot of things I would like to do, I still have an unhealthy tendency to sabotage my relationships with those around me I value most and I’m still struggling to get over someone whom I never really had in the first place, which often makes me feel very sad and lonely. Three years ago I’d have wanted to kill myself after typing all of that out, but nowadays I appreciate that life isn’t as black and white as one might like it to be and I appreciate the contradictions one has to suffer because I’m constantly learning new things about myself and becoming a better person in the process. So it stands – life might well be a tragedy, but it’s a beautiful one.
If you’ve made it this far I suppose I should apologise for the pretentiousness of that last paragraph, but then again if you’re still reading my blogs you should be used to that by now. On the subject of pretentiousness, I bought a Jaguar a few weeks ago. It’s a light blue 2007 X Type with cream interior and wood panelling. The boot is big enough to hold my golf clubs & trolley as well as a weekly shop and driving it is, I imagine, a similar experience to driving a Challenger 2, although probably with slightly more comfort. I’ve wanted a Jaguar for as long as I can remember and I genuinely smile to myself everytime I get into it and turn the ignition. My Great-Grandpa used to have Jaguars and he religiously upgraded to the latest model every two years, so I’m hoping this is the beginning of a similar tradition, albeit fifteen years behind the curve. She’s called Judith, or Judi for short, in case you were wondering.
As I mentioned above, I am still struggling with my weight, although I have no one to blame but myself. I sat and worked out last night, after I’d got back from dinner, that I’ve eaten out eight times in the past fortnight, four of which involved at least two courses. Perhaps rather than lamenting my lack of weight loss I should be grateful that I haven’t ballooned to the size of a large hippo or Tom Brooks, considering the belt-busting amount of food I’ve been consuming. I have been discussing the situation with my life coach & nutritionist Samuel Stephen Morris (better known as SSM Fit) and I’m now convinced that I am on the right track for slow but sustainable weight loss, as long as I stick to said track, which is easier said than done when you have a social life as hectic as one’s own.
On the subject of my social life, I went to the pub on Tuesday for the first time since Boxing Day and it’s honestly difficult to overstate how utterly delicious my first gulp of Strongbow Dark Fruits was. Yes, I know the connotations of my choice of drink, but I can’t drink beer and I wanted my first pint to be draught, as there’s just something more satisfying about a pint when you’ve watched someone pour it for you. I had the pleasure of my good friend Liam’s company, which was as illuminating and high octane as usual, and it was nice to just sit and talk shit over a few drinks again. I think I, and plenty of others, too often associate drinking with going ‘out out’ at the weekend and getting yourself in a mess, as opposed to the pleasant ‘quiet few’ you have down the village with a friend on a weekday evening, which I personally find to be just as enjoyable, even if not quite the same level of fun. I’ve also done the dinner & cinema combo a couple of times this week, which I am finding increasingly delightful as I get older. I mean, I’ve always loved the aforementioned combo but, as I grow up and see friends less regularly as work and other things take priority, I think it’s nice to catch up with someone over food and then share the wonderful experience of cinema together. It’s just a very nice way to spend an evening.
I just reread that paragraph once I’d finished typing it and, again, I feel obliged to apologise for the pretentiousness. Perhaps it’s time I just accepted it as a part of who I am, although that would arguably make me even more pretentious. What a conundrum. I don’t really have anything else of huge interest to inform you of; my golf game is better than ever at the moment (I shot my two lowest scores ever on the nine hole course last week), the Wordle game is extremely fun, I read three books in January and haven’t been on Snapchat so my New Year’s Resolutions are going well, my dress sense is absolutely impeccable recently, my Mum has a new job and is still an absolute angel, Boris Johnson is a fat twat, Bella Italia is actually really nice for a chain restaurant, Klarna do a credit card now which looks absolutely stunning, bowling remains just as fun as it was when I was a child, chicken caesar salad is easy to make and bloody delicious, we have a new driveway, I love playing Badminton, working from home is brilliant, I love The National Trust and I’m not very good at either pool or darts. I think that’s about it?
Right, I’m off to the pub. I hope you are all well x
