Friday 22nd October 2021, 7.46pm
Good evening. I currently find myself in the small village of Malmesbury, a charming place in the north of Wiltshire that’s steeped in history and, quite simply, utterly beautiful. Unfortunately, I’m here with Oliver. In fact, not only am I unlucky enough to be here with Oliver, he’s currently not drinking because of the medication he’s on, which means I am not drinking either, out of solidarity, which means I am without the one thing that makes his company even slightly bearable. I feel like I’m starring in a horror film that I’ve written myself and is being directed and co-produced by me.
We arrived yesterday at about 4pm. We’re staying in a charming little studio I found on Airbnb, which has everything one needs for a short stay away – a bed, a TV and some complimentary coffee. I was originally slightly horrified when I realised there was no smoking allowed anywhere on the premises, even outside, but since we’re not drinking I am no longer that fussed. Once we arrived we popped to Aldi for some supplies and I cooked us my signature sticky chinese chicken, with noodles and rice, and it was possibly the best I’ve made yet. We then spent the evening watching a film, Mr & Mrs Smith, and YouTube videos of Frankie Boyle on Mock the Week and Sean Lock on 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown. I wish I could say we spent the evening reading books and playing chess but alas, even I am not that middle class. Yet.
When we awoke this morning we decided, after a shower, some black coffee and a quick browse of The Times, to drive over to Bath, which is about forty minutes away from here. There isn’t much I can say about the place other than it is easily the most stunning city I have ever been to. Pretty much every single building you walk past is basically an architectural masterclass, demonstrating how far our standards have fallen when it comes to newer developments. For lunch, we dined at Woods’ restaurant, and I couldn’t help but treat myself to a sirloin with fries and vegetables (cooked rare, obviously). After lunch, we wandered around the city, taking pictures, drinking coffee and discussing the tyranny of the current occupant of the Home Office. We visited the Victoria Art Gallery, which was underwhelming in all honesty but still had some fascinating paintings, and sat by the river with a coffee, this time discussing the complexities of emotionality and whether or not my therapist was worth the money. Awfully cheerful, aren’t we? We missed out on the baths because, as interesting as I am sure they are, I was not paying £20 to go in. I’ll probably regret that once home, but there we are.
Oliver bought himself a pizza from Aldi to have for dinner tonight, only to get back to the studio and discover there is no oven, which was rather amusing. I decided I was in the mood for cheesy nachos, followed by melted chocolate and marshmallows, as I only wanted something small after steak for lunch. We’re currently having a cup of tea, debating which film to watch tonight and where to go tomorrow. Our current line of thought is Bristol, although I have no doubt that will probably have changed by tomorrow morning. Anyway, I’ll ensure I keep you updated.
Sunday 24th October 2021, 8.47am
One of my favourite things about waking up away from home is having no rush to get up and shower or go out. I woke up around an hour ago and spent thirty minutes in bed reading The Times before getting up for a shower, making a pot of coffee and coming outside to do a bit of reading and writing before we have to check out. I can see almost the entirety of Malmesbury Abbey from the little seating area at the top of the garden and I must say it’s a rather magnificent view to enjoy whilst having a morning coffee. There are no sounds other than the birds chirping and the music coming from my laptop, which is, inexplicably, currently one of Liam Smith’s playlists. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could just stay like this forever.
We did end up going into Bristol yesterday, but naturally we made a visit to a National Trust house first, as my quest to become middle class never rests. We decided to visit Tyntesfield, a Victorian Gothic revival house just outside of Bristol that was only purchased by the Trust in 2001 and, as such, is a relatively new addition. It was one of the stranger houses I’ve visited and, because different additions were made over several decades, it was awfully unsymmetrical, which upset my usual style of photography, but nonetheless it was an absolutely magnificent house, even boasting it’s own chapel that had been added on to the side of the house by the family who had owned it from the mid 19th century until 2001. Unfortunately, the upstairs of the house was closed off because of COVID, despite the downstairs being fine to open, so we couldn’t see all of it, but we enjoyed what we did see and I got some lovely pictures.
After that we headed into Bristol, where we followed our usual itinerary; wandering around taking pictures, lunch (this time at the Cosy Club, which was very nice), more wandering and pictures, an art gallery, a bit more wandering and then home. I’ve never been to Bristol before and, despite having read about it in the press after the Colston statue saga last year, I was still pleasantly surprised by the relentless and unashamed progressiveness of the city. Sitting atop Brandon Hill after a visit to Bristol Museum & Art Gallery, admiring the view as the sun pierced through the clouds in the distance, I couldn’t help but feel as though I was in a very unique, welcoming space, quite unlike any city in England I have visited before. I don’t think there are many things I’d rather do than stroll around a new city with a good friend, taking it all in and talking utter shite.
Oliver cooked us a curry when we got back last night, before we settled in to watch another movie (Hot Fuzz this time, which is quite good in all fairness) and then some YouTube videos of Harry & Paul and That Mitchell & Webb Look. I ate far too much and probably laughed too much, but I urge you to search for ‘Harry and Paul – Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ and tell me with a straight face that it isn’t absolutely hilarious.
That brings us up to now. I haven’t been logged into social media whilst I’ve been away, so apologies if you thought I’ve been ignoring you, but it’s been so nice to just be away with no firm plans, just doing as we please, exploring new places and then chilling out in the evenings. As I sit here, glancing over at the Abbey with the sun beaming down, I can’t help but feel as though I am where I’m meant to be. It’s a shame that the brutal forces of capitalist oppression mean that I’m back in the office at 8am tomorrow morning, but there we are. I’ll upload some of my pictures onto my Tumblr page if any of you are interested in having a gander. In the meantime, I hope you’re well.
