Can you believe I haven’t written on my blog so far this month? Outrageous really isn’t it, depriving you all of my beautiful writing. I thought it best I get you up to speed now because I’ve got a few hectic weeks coming up at work so I’m not sure when I’ll next get time to sit and write. I’m working FORTY hours a week over the next few weeks and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I wasn’t made to work full time, I was made to socialise and philosophise, so it will be a miracle if I manage to cope, but I’m sure you’ll all be praying for me and hopefully that should be enough to get me through. I’ve recently signed up at Nuffield Health in Derby as well and I’m hoping my escape from the poverty ridden gym I was going to in Burton will motivate me to restart my weight loss – my weight has plateaued recently as I’ve struggled to discipline myself, so being back at a nice gym should hopefully provide the boost that I need. More hours at work and a new gym – talk about self improvement? 

Life continues as close to normalcy as it can, despite the coronavirus resurgence, and I’ve been out drinking and eating as you would expect, although I must admit that it’s eerily quiet in bars & pubs and it worries me that we’re going to see a huge amount of closures over the next few months. I went out drinking with Tom, Adam & Sam for Toms birthday last Wednesday and at one point we were literally the only people in Revolution, albeit this was probably a blessing in disguise as Brooks isn’t the kind of person you want to expose to the public. It was the same when I went out for drinks with my Mum and her friends last Monday, although that could just have been because we were in the Hilton Brook and it’s shit in there, but there is a serious worry that the pubs we’re all so used to frequenting might be gone this time next year. I’ve been attempting to write about the complete clusterfuck the Government has made of handling COVID so, despite the fact that I can’t seem to do their incompetence justice with my words, I’d keep your eyes peeled for that appearing on my blog some point soon. 

My life of leisure ploughs on regardless. I was back in Revolution on Monday, this time for lunch with Sian. When I visited with the Inbreds last week Sam ordered a Chicken Caesar Salad that looked unreasonably tasty, especially considering the fact it was a salad, so I became determined to head back there and try it at some point. Luckily I wasn’t disappointed, it was bloody delicious, and the fact they were still doing the 50% discount offer was a nice added bonus – I got two courses and two drinks for a tenner. It was a pleasure to catch up with Sian, it seemed like it had been an unusually long amount of time since I’d last seen her so there was plenty to discuss, with the conversation inevitably centred on the two subjects closest to our hearts – drinking and boys. There was mutual disappointment at how difficult it’s becoming to pursue either of those hobbies with the increasing restrictions, and we had a little bitch about the Government (anti-Government sentiment is rapidly becoming a cornerstone of my conversational repository), but it was nonetheless a thoroughly enjoyable lunch with a dear friend. 

I had Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off work, so I took the opportunity to take some time for myself. On Tuesday I went to the gym in the morning and then did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day – it was wonderful. My good friend Tom Robotham popped round for a bit and, whilst I was cooking dinner, demonstrated a new method to chop my peppers which, as much as I hate to admit it, is actually a much more efficient method than the one I’d been using, although his way of chopping onions was atrocious so I managed to avoid being completely emasculated. After dinner I took the dog for a walk and then played a bit of PS4 to end what was a refreshingly relaxing day. 

I’ve resolved to visit the driving range at least once a week in an almost certainly doomed attempt to improve my golf game, so I made time for my weekly visit to the to Branston Golf & Country Club on Wednesday afternoon, but that was a total waste of an hour because I couldn’t hit a solid driver shot for love nor money. There were some young lads there being rather loud and annoying so I blamed my lack of form on them and left in a huff. In the evening I headed to The Cow in Dalbury for dinner with Mr Morley and, naturally, we spent the night doing what we do best – drinking wine, gossiping and planning grand events for a post-COVID future. There’s an innately calming atmosphere that envelopes the village of Dalbury and it’s always a pleasure to visit, and I suppose Tom isn’t too bad for company either. I enjoyed my evening, as I always do when sirloin steak is involved, although the bill of £145 was much less enjoyable, as was the splitting headache I suffered on Thursday morning. It’s the price one has to pay I suppose. 

Without exaggeration, I spent most of Thursday in bed, nursing a hangover that appeared to be sent from the devil himself – I’m not sure what they put in the wine in Dalbury but it certainly inflicted some serious pain on my poor innocent soul. When I eventually managed to summon the courage to leave my room, it was time to head out for a curry with Hayley, Milly and Tilley. Curry nights for the four of us have become a semi-permanent fixture in my schedule and it’s a lovely way to catch up with Mills & Tills and what they’ve been up to. We’re such regulars at the Gorkha Palace now that the waiter even provided us with free onion bhajis and naan bread, though I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Regardless of what’s going on in life, there’s little that can top a night at the curry house. 

The past few days have been much quieter, largely because of the frankly absurd amount of money I managed to spend earlier on in the week. I worked Friday afternoon and then popped to see Lizzie for a few hours afterwards. We shared a takeaway and indulged in our usual routine – smoking in the garden and slagging each other off until we get bored. Liz mentioned how many cancellations she’s had because of people self isolating or testing positive and I delighted once more in some anti-Government discourse. Occasionally,  it’s nice to just sit and talk shit with an old friend on a Friday evening rather than heading out to get slaughtered – there’s a life lesson you can take away from today’s blog.  

I worked yesterday as well and then spent the entire evening on Call of Duty when I got home – sometimes I just don’t have the energy to go anywhere or see anyone when I get home, which might sound lazy but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with opting for a bit of PS4 after a tough day at the coalface. I jest, obviously, I do fuck all at work and I just like being a lazy slob when I get home. In my defence, however, I did go to the gym yesterday morning and I will be going again this morning before I head to work, so I’m not a complete sloven. I quite enjoy being a bit quieter nowadays anyway – as much as I still love to go out and see people, sometimes it’s nice, as well as necessary, to just slow down a bit and spend some time at home. Well, that and the fact that I’ll be bankrupt by February if I keep spending at my current rate. 

I ask you to kindly keep me in your thoughts & prayers as I endeavour to endure the hardships of a forty hour work week. Stay safe.