Is it possible to always know someone, even if they appear to change beyond recognition? Perhaps there is a point you reach where, no matter what happens, you will always have some sort of attachment to certain people? Maybe, once you’ve opened up emotionally to them, you remain attached to them for life, regardless of how circumstances change or whether you actually want to? Emotions are a complex thing and I would not attempt for even a second to pretend that I understand my own, or anyone else’s for that matter, yet I can’t help but try to understand them, like some unsolvable mystery that somehow becomes infinitely more intriguing as I grow older and learn more about myself and the people around me. Over the past few years I’ve done a huge amount of growing as I explore who I am, what I enjoy and where I want to end up in life, but I still yearn for an explanation as to how much any one person can change and whether they can change enough to render even the deepest of emotional connections meaningless. Sometimes when I look at some of my close friends and feel a warm, romantic fondness, I wonder if I’m actually longing for the connection we once had, trapped by a sense of obligation, nostalgia or both. Sometimes I meet people who I’ve known for years and once considered close friends but, without trying to sound bitter, I wonder why we’re continuing to pretend there’s some sort of affinity between us when, in reality, we’ve both changed so much that the connections we once had were shared between two entirely different people with different passions, morals and ideals. I am not the same person I was ten years ago, five years ago, or even twelve months ago, which is why I posed my original question of how much can someone change before the connection you have with that person becomes redundant? It could be argued, if you were to take a idealistic view of it, that once you open up to someone you will remain entwined with them emotionally for the rest of your life, regardless of any change in either yourself or your circumstances, and I do have a soft spot for this line of thought as it’s nice to think that you’ll always have a certain number of people who know the real you. I maintain, however, what I believe to be a sort of realistic cynicism about the whole idea and I would contend that, although you may always retain a certain level of adoration for someone if you’ve been emotionally close to them at some point, it is unrealistic to expect to always retain that level of closeness when you consider the extent to which people change as they go through their lives. Therefore, to answer my own question, I would reason that whilst the love you may have for certain people is eternal and unquestionable, the connection you share with those same people is the precise opposite – you may well remain devoted to the same friendships you’ve considered the most important for your entire life, but it is important to remember that people change, relationships can falter and you shouldn’t hold on to someone when you’re doing so out of fear or sentimentally rather than a genuine emotional bond. As harsh as it may sound and confusing as it may seem, sometimes you have to let go.