Something I’ve always found to be rather uncomfortable is the huge emphasis people place on the importance of family. It’s no secret that my relationship with Dave (my father) is utterly toxic, yet I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve been told “whatever he’s done he’s still your Dad” or “you should try and make up with him you only get one Dad”. So what? I genuinely struggle to comprehend this point of view. Just because he’s the man that fathered me, why does that give him some inalienable right to be involved in my life? He may be my father but he’s consistently been an enormously negative presence in my life and, if I get my way, I’ll hopefully never speak to him again (at the time of writing I haven’t spoken to him for about four months). The same goes for the rest of my family – just because they’re relatives why does that mean I’m supposed to grin and bear them? I think my Granddad is a total prick to be honest but I’m always shouted down when I say this because I should respect my elders or something along those lines. Fuck that. My paternal grandmother sadly passed away almost a decade ago and I miss her dearly, but my father & paternal grandfather are selfish, ignorant people who I want nothing to do with. I realise what I’m saying will be considered very controversial because most people I know are very close to their families, but for me family means nothing – I consider my feelings for people based purely on how the interactions I have with them and, if my Granddad shows no interest in me, I’ll show no interest in him. He sends me a card for Christmas & my birthday but that’s about it. What’s the point? Lets just be honest, admit that neither of us really care for each other and get on with our lives. Alas, we cannot, because that’s a huge social taboo and you must always attempt to have a relationship with your parents and grandparents regardless of how clear they’ve made it that they have no interest in you. This isn’t to say I hate my entire family. I obviously adore my mother and my maternal grandparents are both lovely, it’s just to say that the societal expectation of unconditional love for your family regardless of how they treat you is outdated and moronic. It honestly annoys me that people consider it sad that I despise my own father – I despise plenty of people, why is he special? The world would be a much better place if we could expunge poisonous family members from our lives without it being a huge drama, yet here I am, twenty one years old, still having to explain to people why I’m not a massive fan of the cunt that made my childhood miserable & made me believe that I’m an awful person. To me, I consider family to be the people I surround myself with who make me happy, support me and are there for me when I need them. It’s got nothing to do with blood.